‘Tis the best time of year

Saw the below pic on Insta today and thought YES! but also… “Christmas month” could be captioned so many other ways… and so my gal Kayleigh and I riffed this fun little LIST.

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  • Spooky month, mashed potato month, and peppermint month // gingerbread
  • And “Christmas cookie” month
  • And “Santa-shaped cookie” month
    –> are Santa-shaped cookies NOT Christmas cookies, Kayleigh?!
  • “tree lighting” month
  • “get fat” month
  • “I wanna ice skate!” month
  • “covered in bruises from ice skating” month
  • “mulled wine is festive but gross” month
  • “Charlie Brown” month
  • “couples holding hands and me vomming” month
  • “12 days of sexmas” month
  • “couples posting pics in front of the Christmas tree” month
  • “people giving each other meaningless candles and scarves for gifts” month
  • “another year of not being kissed under the mistletoe” month
  • “cheesy Hallmark movies that we hate but secretly love and wish we were in” month
  • “happy endings don’t exist except in massage parlors” month

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In other news, ’tis my BIRTHDAY MONTH and I’m stoked. 27 has been mad rad and 28 will be supa great. 🤘

Spread kindness and cheer, xo
Jackie

No Kidding

No Kidding

Happy Word Nerd Wednesday, y’all! I’m now Facebook free! Wooo! I’m currently writing this as I sit with my ass in the grass on this warm day here in NY. Rudolph is right by my side…obviously. Life is great.

So…what am I reading? Ahh, a fabulously hilarious book edited by Henriette Mantel that is a collection of humorous anecdotes from female writers and they all have one major thing in common. THEY DON’T HAVE KIDS. Not only do they not have little buggers, they aren’t planning to have them. Ever. So naturally, I’m getting a kick out of this gem.

Here are some entertaining excerpts from my new favorite book:

Women’s magazines print serious articles about the beauty of a pregnant women’s enormous belly (oh, please) and her glow. A bride glows, a pregnant woman glows; is there no glow left for the rest of us? And when I read about the pancake-sized nipples that accompany pregnancy, all it does is put me off IHOP for life, which is a pity since that’s the only place I really get my glow on. – Suzy Soro

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In high school I once wrote that my ambition in life was “to not get pregnant.” I thought it was funny, but no one laughed. I was sent for counseling. – Julie Halston

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You’d think that people who do have children would take a greater interest in the world of the future, but I’m not seeing that so much. Parents often seem more intent on making sure their kids have advantages over other children than improving the situation at all. – Betsy Salkind

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I oppose breeding, in animals and humans. If you’re going to get a pet, take the five-year-old at the shelter, not the purebred puppy from the mill. There are so many homeless and needy animals, why bring more into the world and condemn the others to unnecessary suffering and death? – Betsy Salkind (I just want to quote her entire section. She’s my soul sister.)

Even if you have kids or want kids, No Kidding: Women Writers on Bypassing Parenthood is a great way for folks to understand WHY some people choose not to have them. It’s not for everyone, and that’s OK. You enjoy the pampers, I’ll enjoy the pups.

Spread kindness and cheer, xo
Jackie