No Kidding

No Kidding

Happy Word Nerd Wednesday, y’all! I’m now Facebook free! Wooo! I’m currently writing this as I sit with my ass in the grass on this warm day here in NY. Rudolph is right by my side…obviously. Life is great.

So…what am I reading? Ahh, a fabulously hilarious book edited by Henriette Mantel that is a collection of humorous anecdotes from female writers and they all have one major thing in common. THEY DON’T HAVE KIDS. Not only do they not have little buggers, they aren’t planning to have them. Ever. So naturally, I’m getting a kick out of this gem.

Here are some entertaining excerpts from my new favorite book:

Women’s magazines print serious articles about the beauty of a pregnant women’s enormous belly (oh, please) and her glow. A bride glows, a pregnant woman glows; is there no glow left for the rest of us? And when I read about the pancake-sized nipples that accompany pregnancy, all it does is put me off IHOP for life, which is a pity since that’s the only place I really get my glow on. – Suzy Soro

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In high school I once wrote that my ambition in life was “to not get pregnant.” I thought it was funny, but no one laughed. I was sent for counseling. – Julie Halston

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You’d think that people who do have children would take a greater interest in the world of the future, but I’m not seeing that so much. Parents often seem more intent on making sure their kids have advantages over other children than improving the situation at all. – Betsy Salkind

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I oppose breeding, in animals and humans. If you’re going to get a pet, take the five-year-old at the shelter, not the purebred puppy from the mill. There are so many homeless and needy animals, why bring more into the world and condemn the others to unnecessary suffering and death? – Betsy Salkind (I just want to quote her entire section. She’s my soul sister.)

Even if you have kids or want kids, No Kidding: Women Writers on Bypassing Parenthood is a great way for folks to understand WHY some people choose not to have them. It’s not for everyone, and that’s OK. You enjoy the pampers, I’ll enjoy the pups.

Spread kindness and cheer, xo
Jackie

Yes, I Don’t Want Kids

Yes, I Don’t Want Kids

I’ve put off writing about this topic since there are so SO many other articles flooding the internet on the whole kids vs. no kids outlook. I’ll spare y’all a really lengthy post, but this morning I had the following encounter with a neighbor and I’m finally fed up.

My neighbor was asking me about my travels and asked if I could see myself living in any of the places I had ventured to. I said, yes! I could totally see myself living in Seattle or Vancouver one day. He asked why I’d want to go to a place where I don’t know anyone to which I responded, “I’ll make friends.” Then he said, well what about when you get married and have kids – you’ll want your family around to help you. To which I said:

“I don’t want kids.”

And he said:

“Yes you do. You’ll see.”

[Oh, really? I’m glad you think you know me better than I know myself.]

When I tell you I don’t want kids, I have really specific reasons for not wanting kids. I’m 24 years old. I KNOW I don’t want kids in my future. When I tell you I don’t want kids, why don’t you ask me WHY instead of TELLING me I’ll change my mind. You tell me I’ll change my mind like it’s something that needs to be changed. When I tell you I don’t want kids, I expect you to respect this decision and not dismiss me like some childish youth who can only think about herself.

AND my response to all those who say I’ll change my mind when I hold a baby for the first time…have you ever held a puppy?

Spread kindness and cheer, xo
Jackie

p.s. If you’re feeling charitable and adore animals as much as I do, please check out Best Friends Animal Society. I was fortunate enough to spend a week at their main sanctuary in Kanab, Utah back in 2013 and it was an incredible experience. Did I mention they’re a no-kill organization? Huzzah!